I am the first one…
Recently I took a leap of faith, decided to take time off from my job and really examine if I was living my life fully enough, or was feeding my soul the way it needed to be fed. I have surrounded myself by inspiring and creative people, have been writing non-stop and even planned a trip! WOW! I booked a trip to NYC with my new “friend” and thankfully, Claudia agreed to drive us to the airport in the wee hours of the morning. As she dropped us off, she hastily handed us a gift bag and said not to open it until we were on the plane. Now, I knew about Claudia’s idea of the traveling journals but had no idea that she had selected us, to be the first writers.
I opened the bag promptly, like a kid at Christmas, as soon as I buckled in to my seat and there, wrapped in purple tissue paper, was the journal I had fallen in love with, when Claudia had first showed me her collection days earlier. I remember wondering how Claudia would select her writer and my heart sinking when I thought my words might not be chosen for the book. Boy, fate has a funny way of intervening.
Inside this beautiful journal was a note to Ben and me, wishing us well on our trip, along with a crisp $100 to spend as we wished in NYC. What a generous offering and we were both speechless. It’s not often that you receive a gift from someone just out of the blue, no strings attached…. Just a gift…As I sat there quietly during take-off, all I could think about was what I would write, where I would write it and who would get the journal next. What a big responsibility to be first! Would I write somewhere significant, like at Ground Zero, or would I write after church in Harlem? What if I also wanted to write about how incredible I thought this new man in my life was? Would he read it when he wrote in the book next? Don’t be guarded, Kate… let it be… you will know when and what.
The first need to write, hit me as I sat at a diner on Staten Island, and the next, as the sun poured in the open window of the hotel room the following morning. After 5 days in New York City, I had learned so much about myself and about people in general. I had learned that I had fallen in love with random strangers for how they laughed or how they sang and praised God in church. And the pen touched the paper, the words poured out and I was truly happy
Claudia had given me another gift – it was as if she had said, “Kate, your words and thoughts are important … Please share them.” And I did.
But I also came to the realization that all the words on those fresh white pages are gifts not only to ourselves, but to those who follow and read them…and we don’t need a special journal to be gift-givers. We can give of ourselves; truly, every day… through actions, words… we can’t be selfish with our love. We need to love fully, live truthfully and let the song in our hearts sing loudly.
I passed the journal on to Ben, and he wrote on the subway. I was amazed as he sketched a woman who stood solemnly across the way and was eager to know if he had read the words I had written earlier. I was also secretly eager to learn what he wrote.
We passed the book on to a mother and daughter who sat tiredly on the subway as we rode. Ben handed the book over and said, “Here, this is for you.” The young woman’s face lit up; as I’m sure mine did when I first opened the gift bag. “Really?” she asked with a bit of shock in her voice.
And we quickly hopped off the train, to head home and end our journey…. Funny…. just as the journal was about to start its own journey.
May you all fully recognize the greatness that exists in each of you.
Be generous.
Lovingly,
Kate
"This is the woman who received the journal through the subway door.....
It's mysterious that only we know her face... and others will only know her words....
What is she thinking as she holds it in her hands?" ~Kate D.
